afrocentrism

2007-10-02T11:42:00.001-07:00

CHANGE YOUR LINK NOW:

http://nonincorporated.livejournal.com

i'm back!

2007-08-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

i just got back from travelling to and fro from the airport pointlessly because i am supposed to be working the graveyard shift at the mix in the transit mall (i've always been in love with the damn place since 2005) but apparently i do not have the permission to be issued with a temporary pass to enter. if only it was slightly more than a year ago i don't even have to fill in those little papers to get the 'V' pass. i would have been able to enter wherever i need, whenever i need to, even in home clothes. ahh, those were the days.

i was really anticipating to work despite the times because i'd be able to roam around the transit malls in both terminals. and of course, the sunflower garden in T2 is still the place where the most amazing thing that ever happened to me, happened :)

the holidays are officially here and here's a checklist of what i want to achieve in the next free and easy two months:

most importantly, cook dinner for lin one day (which explains the jamie oliver book) and i already have a few recipes shortlisted under the belt. heh heh
write a bad-ass script ala guillermo arriaga style in a locally twisting version for future production with adara pictures. i've had enough of the credit only going to people who make getai movies. like wtf. yeah sure it's colourful okay fine.
get some miles on the trusty bike. i need my exercise.
finish up my driving classes. hell this semester was uber busy.
earn more money and land that assistant editor job as well!
redeco the damn side of my room
and lastly,

to be frank, i'm not so sure. haha.

but anyway i want that ben sherman bag. badly.

i'm extremely dissapointed and pissed off at someone, who apparently got dismissed from fsv because of his very own fucking stupidity, to have the check to say that NP limits him from doing more.

hell if there is really any other damn fucking course in singapore which allows you to shoot physically with film stock, then i have nothing to say to you.

but you are extremely stupid to transfer to whatever fucking school you're in because i don't care and we'll see how that school has no "limits".

thank god you're out, because i think you've been the one who've been limiting most of the people in your class which are much more capable of doing more in a semester than what you can do in three years combined.

beat that you stupid "fcp-is-a-powerfully-confusing-software" jackass.

2007-08-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

i yem the deyrektor

i yem the prodewsor

i yem the kameraman

i yem the scrept soopervisor

i yem the kamara

i yem the tripod

i yem the owdio miksar

i yem the axe el are kabel

i yem the babel on the tripawd

i yem the waif in my dialouge

i yem the studio

i yem flemmaker.

i yem the shawl that girl wears to belly dance too.

some smartypants decided to use our CG project to show during an interview for an internship. like HELLO, all you did was the credits anyway. besides, it's not the first time.

i am sourly bitchy today.

and to all my friends, hopefully we will meet up soon :)

KAP was fabulous. i was penniless, then after an hour of watching, i finally incurred the sympathy of mathu and madhan, whom were gladly rewarded with the free pizza afterwards and some people weren't supposed to be eating any forms of livestock too. hohoho. no more brahmin status for you.

i miss grocery shopping. i really do. especially at the white men's supermarket (cold storage. no offence but it's true!)

school is definitely out! but not fully out yet i guess.

i want to work to get my room repainted and facilities of my table which is only limited to a computer to expand to a multi purpose suite. hell yes please.

i want my wall to be dark red.

hmm.

2007-08-04T11:20:00.001-07:00

guess i haven't done this a long time but oh well, here goes. don't want to leave this webspace wandering around. i'll be back soon and no, not after two months :)

2007-06-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

forget the bermuda triangle or the abominable snowman. the biggest mystery known to man is still bloody PMS.

apparently hormones are just liars. big liars.

i know i've done nothing wrong and i'm bloody well sticking to that so for whatever paranoid reason you think that i'm looking at someone else, you got it so wrong. women are more complicated creatures because sometimes they can't even figure themselves out. they think they're always right.

i saw a full rainbow on the way back home today and the next best thing was i came back with a smile on my sister's face greeting me with:

"ah-ah-ah-abang ahlan, ah-ah-ashilah nampak WEMBOW!"

life is beautiful. if you want it to be.

2007-06-14T00:45:00.000-07:00

C & L project 2 is DONE and i'm pretty positive that we've nailed it this time. a few production pics coming soon when khai comes back from CAMP. a whole vietnamese forest empire, emulated in the coziness of studio 1. thank god we didn't set the smoke alarm off due to the amount of candles we lighted up.

i have a very positive feeling about all the year 1 (T1A2 ONLY that is) NVP2 shootings. i'm sure it's all going to be a positive outcome in the end products. hahaha. madhan's talent can seriously cry. and i didn't get to watch my linnie kins' shoot because i had to set up the set for C & L.

on a side note:

I ALMOST FELL INTO A DRAIN TODAY and i dropped lin's laptop right smack on the grass. and can you believe that she was laughing hysterically until i had to physically support her? i thought i was dead already. thank god her laptop fell on a grass patch. if i get a cut, it'll heal, but if the laptop gets a hard disk failure, half of your work in the semester would disappear in thin air.

that, and also half of the hair in my head would be gone because lin would pull every single strand out personally.

on my way home in the train today, on the last carriage, i swear it is the most complete set of malays you will never find anywhere else. there i was, in the middle of the carriage. to my right, 4 fully-tattooed hardcore mats blabbering about something. right in front of the mats, contradictingly, was a pious-looking couple with the songkoks, selendangs and whatnots. on the right of the couple, were a bunch of "i-think-i-am-very-indie-right-now" youngsters, which i believe, are going to club (where else? dancing to the strokes? i don't think so.) and right in front of the youngsters, was a young-looking malay family and their kid was quite cute. i might be weird, but i've never seen such a coincidence, and i bet that they're all bitching about each other and i bet, me being the only one in the middle, was also a victim of the incessant bitching sounds, primarily coming from the stupid indie kids. there was this girl in that group in particular (but there was only one anyway) and i couldn't figure out who possibly her boyfriend is because she seems to be touching every single one of them and in some parts, i sense some affairs going on within the friendship circle. HOHO.

oh yeah,

speaking about INDIE, i just had to see some dumb ass indie poser using a "THE BEETLES" badge.

and bloody hell, i was listening to sgt. pepper's album.

2007-06-11T15:14:00.000-07:00

Yes people the thesis is proven:

writcomm incurs the wrath of the sorry souls that take it. drives people to becomes cold, emotionless beings.

no offence though. it does make your written english better :)

2007-06-09T00:17:00.000-07:00

ahhhh. i haven't visited this stagnant place in days. anyway. everything's been fine and dandy except for the usual sweat-makes-me-smell-a-little-sour-and-fuck-the-damn-weather-because-it's-so-fucking-hot days.

HOLIDAYS ARE HERE. well not exactly a two-week one because i'd still have to come back to school next week. if we can nail it for C & L to recreate the scene from apocalypse now, andrew even said we'll get an A hands down. oh boy.

though he caught me last semester for that unfortunate incident which i don't know why it was such a big deal, he's actually a nice guy, though extremely sarcastic at times but isn't everyone? it was such a delight(i'm not being sarcastic) to find SPICE GIRLS in his ipod (he likes to play it in between lessons) and then listen to it and reminisce old primary school days when we all listened to them.

hell, even FUAD used a spice girls bag to primary school. BUSTED.

i want to watch ocean's 13, but today everyone seemed a little pooped so we all went to town to do the usuals. and allergic reactions are really freaky because they come real fast, not to mention itch the hell out of someone.

i was at the studio to check and reece our location for shoot, and the B section was having their director's test. some guy who was director apparently wanted to get his head chopped off as he criticised someone, whom i presume was the cameraman, like this (i think he said this):

"eh you don't want to do your role properly then don't join FSV ah, go quit better."

obviously the other guy took it seriously and he confronted the guy and both of them had their voices up a notch and then there was ALMOST a fist fight (which me and my classmates would gladly cheer them on and watch) until a girl squeezed in to stop them. darn. i don't know what's happening over at B but A seems pretty cool, with minor hiccups here and there, and an eclipse once in a while (inside joke). other than that. it's all good :)

2007-05-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

oh yes. i know i missed one just a few days ago but these are the few natural phenomenons which i would like to see before i die. random.

2007-05-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

constantly being exposed to the two extremes of the weather is really not cutting it for me mann. one minute i'm perspiring my glands out and the next minute i'm being slammed into a wall of thick cold air in the train. ho boy, i do love it when the wall comes but is it healthy? the best birthday gift anyone could give me this year is a whole case of botox.

no i'm just kidding. i need a new watch because i just cracked the screen on mine.

and a new ipod.

and that fossil ipod case.

oh shut up.

ANYWAY.

i was reading the papers (the BERITA HARIAN, yes and don't call me a damn BAPAK. even khairudin shaharom reads it and according to someone i know *hinthint*, he's a dreamboat) and they were featuring a new way to renovate your 'panic room' so that it's totally discreet. to the people who don't know, the 'panic room' is actually an SCDF bomb shelter built in every flat aged 10 years or below. one thing that i don't get is that all of these shelters are built in a pretty high-rise flat and bomb shelters are supposed to be underground, away from the shockwave that bombs emit. tell me now, a bomber would be clever enough to bomb the foundation of a building for it to topple down and if he did, while everyone is still huddling in their damn shelters, the building is still going to come crashing down WITH the people along in the building and i'm positively sure the shelter's not strong enough to hold the weight of tons of rubble. maybe singapore should test it out by blowing up one of the many flats they already have and see whether everyone's bomb shelters come crashing down while stacking up one by one safely like lego bricks. that would be very entertaining sight to watch.

i told lin when we were eating at ljs for dinner that when i was 8-9 years old, my parents brought me to this exhibition where they were showing different torture devices and contraptions of the world. i have no idea on how i ended up there even but i think that memorable visit has moulded my occasionally sadistic mind. i love the machine where they have a sharp net-like gauze over your face and when they run a powered device, the net will move left to right in a uniform speed and then press down against your face. the rest is excess information and i am already on the verge of making you regurgitate your breakfast/lunch/dinner while reading this. lin almost did because i told her the complete description of three other villainous machines.

don't get me started on the bed with the wheel and the blades thingy. that one's a killer. literally.

P.S: i swear if i ever have to hear the word "menu" again, i will really puke my brains out.

have a good night people :)

2007-05-26T09:37:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE HEALTHCARE INDUSTRY IN SINGAPORE MAN.
an x-ray is supposed to be able to detect something at least the size of 0.5 cm. now they're saying they can detect anything.

god i'm pissed. as if the damn nurse tussle with my aunt wasn't enough.

2007-05-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

the day i will stop sweating so profusely is when singapore is being struck by a huge ass hail storm which lowers everyone's body temperature by 10 degrees celsius and make them all wear winter clothing because the weather is almost temperate. so all your fur coat shenigans and SCARFS (winter/summer who the fuck cares) would actually be feasible to be worn out. yes, wouldn't everyone love that?

oh yeah, minus the horrendous damage that the huge ass hail rocks will cause. who knows? the next thing you know the whole of a polytechnic has been reduced to rubble by chunks of ice. imagine one of those ice kacang ice blocks falling on your head. ouch.

i had fermented soya bean just now. my mom says it tastes like that because it's LOW CHOLESTEROL. and i told her it's impossible for the damn thing to be so gelato-thick like. blame me for not realizing it earlier too.

my aunt is ailing to the point of close to passing. i'm scared because of my mum because she's already had one too many losses of people that she loves. sometimes i wonder how it feels like to be in her shoes. i mean, my late aunt, who passed away last year because of lung cancer, never got to live until she was 60, in fact, she's younger than the one in hospital now, who is also not past her 60s. it's hard to see how they've never got to live as far as my grandmother, who lived till 71. but then again, who am i to question His power. He loves my aunts more than we do so i the meantime, all the best that we can do is pray.

my left eyelid feels as if it's been punched because it hurts when i blink

and apocalyse now is a disturbing movie because it has a scene of tribesmen slashing a cow with a long sword into half. literally. HALF. like the blade penetrates through the backbone and reveals a significant amount of flesh hanging precariously.

fucking sick.

2007-05-23T04:17:00.001-07:00

i'm HUNGRY! and i need inspiration for the 3-act synopses. all 3 of them.

2007-05-21T01:05:00.000-07:00

in singapore, they say everything's about examinations and shit so there's been one thing that have been bugging me lately.

the certificates for the director's list have been given out quite a while ago and it seems that all the people that have been getting it share one thing is common. they're all closet muggers. they're people who are supposed to be in JC and not really in a polytechnic because it may dampen the spirits of people who would like to fluorish and perhaps nurture the talents that they have (and no i am not talking about me in this situation because i believe that are people in my cohort [the 'A' section who are geniuses in what they do but they've never gotten proper recognition for the exception of sean who built his way up to be there]). apparently, they're lapping up all the recognition because of their ability to MEMORISE every single damn thing in the book, which sadly, not everyone is able to do such a feat.

as quoted by lin:

iq je tinggi. eq macam taik.

which exactly embodies what i'm trying to say here. we can't just pave our way through just by burying our heads under books man but the current situation seems bleak. sean even quoted someone from the mugging group saying:

"wah our group bery kleber hor?"

thank god i was in a good mood and watching lin's group finishing up their NVP1 (which was quite a good shoot, for the exception of the obstacles but it was very upbeat). If it wasn't for that, i'll go on a "PUKIMAK" bitch fit.

hell sometimes i look at the current film industry and wonder who are the people that will mould it in future, which is supposed to be ours to make and at the rate of the people who are being given recognition simply because they did so fucking well in their written papers, i can tell:

the movie scripts are probably going to have a lot of HoRx and BaObEiIs and AiYoZzX and shit like that,which i hope i would not live to see and of course before i die, i'd already have made a proper award-winning film or something. or a good photojourn (i hope)

and looking from the 'B' section of the year 1s, it'll probably be someone who'll have his name on every single role when the credits roll. apparently that guy only trusts himself and his storytelling seems to be screwed up.

i'm going to have some tea now. goodbye

2007-05-19T23:42:00.000-07:00

cam and lighting's been alright so far. it's fun having equipment in the house. makes a baby/young child shut up and observe what the hell you're doing. haha

original line:

"the more we get together, together together, the happier we will be"

SHEILA 'S line:

"the more kugader, kugader, KUGADER"

original line:

"how i wonder what you are" (twinkle twinkle little star)

SHEILA'S LINE:

"ha ah ah der hu uu ah"

2007-05-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

webcams are amazing when you open another window, let's say an internet browser window, and leave the conversation minimized. when you reopen the convo, the whole webcam will play in fast forward until present real-time. funny funny shit. lin went out of her room in a flash, took her cute woterbok'le and came back in less than a second.

anything funnier than that would be the colour of my brother's hair. i'd say he looks like ric flair if you know what i mean.

2007-05-13T00:02:00.000-07:00

just got back from work today and my dear adilin is happily sitting in the cinema munching on popcorn (probably) and watching spiderman-3. Boy, i think i'm the only sorry soul who hasn't. haha. a little exaggeration there but it won't hurt anyone.

oh oh, now every weekend is:

INDIE FASHION/ACCESORIES APPRECIATION DAY

don't believe me? go to town.

2007-05-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

to everyone and anyone who was from broadrick in 2000-2005,

please bacakan al-fatihah for Isz Sazli, who passed away in a military mishap in Taiwan which is an extremely unfortunate incident. For those who don't know him, be reminded as he was our dear mr funny soldier general in the ELDDS performance and also for the malay students, he was the guy who asked cikgu siti "mandi hadas tu ape cikgu?"

indeed, we will miss him and always be reminded that fate will never lie in our hands.

amin

2007-05-12T00:18:00.000-07:00

was watching memento with lin in the school library with lin just now and yes it is indeed, mind-boggling stuff and some of the parts in the story are just left unexplained, like, who was the person talking to him on the phone. i love these kind of movies where it leaves you wanting to know more about what happened or the sense that is actually supposed to be figured out. a classic would be mulholland drive. boy, that one will just leave you scratching your head. lin was scratching hers and so was i.

so when i was home today, i was talking to my mom about my slightly ailing aunt, and she said that she doesn't really like the staff nurses at the hospital because they don't exactly give so much of a hoot of what the patients are going through, they just monitor their health and if it can't be helped (of course i know that it can't be helped) but at least, give some compassion to the poor patient and his or her wellbeing. my mom said there were like mumps/rashes forming on her heels because she's barely able to move them but the damn nurses only did something when my mom told them. sure i know you might be busy, but aren't they like taught to go through their patients' conditions thoroughly?

no offence to the poly nurses (that goes to you my dear mister fuad) because the madam says that you guys are pretty efficient, but i think the whole "i want to pass this module" that is instilled in every living tertiary student in singapore helps in that situation.

i have a weird fascination (or should you call it, interest) for lightning shows in the sky. it's those kinds where there's only the lightning minus the thunder. it's like a silent movie and you feel like.. enthralled every single time you watch a big, huge lightning bolt streak through the sky. there's so much energy in it, literally, talking in voltage and watts but other than that, it is a powerful visual spectacle. i know it's not advisable or even necessary (my mom says it's not good) but i still will do it and i am waiting for one.

and you people thought that nature was boring.

oh yes. get bjork's volta. out may 7th. hahaha.

2007-05-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

ARGHHH. i've never been so braindead for school like this. all the things that ever come to my head is:

*poit*poit*POIT*

like those little marks that come out of those japanese anime characters when they basically have nothing else to say.

well school hasn't been much of a burden until today but it's okay. quite fun here and there.
and lin is extremely happy with her amazing headphones (sadly, i can never fit them, but hell they are bleeding amazing audio transmitting devices) from audiotechnica.

and now her friends think i'm a rich arse. which is the total opposite because i rarely eat hotbite sandwiches because they're not substantial for two dollars. i'd rather stick to the chicken rice in canteen 1, thank you.

i came across a chinese man, probably in his 40s, who had a left pinky fingernail which was three quarters the length of the finger. Is it a tradition, gangster mark or a fad? someone enlighten me on this.

and i seriously need more sensible stuff to blog about rather than stupid ramblings.

ARGFHGHGHGHHG

2007-04-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

lin is now sexy eighteeeeeeen :) so legal and can prank me to say that she went to hard rock somemore. SEX ON THE BEACH KONON.

and it's not that i'm not going to give her present. it's going to be different then just wrapped and presented. just that it's a little delayed because i'm cash strapped ONLY until today. heh. later you see next saturday hah engkau. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DAHLENG.

i don't know how long the whole juggle of work and school will last but so far it's going along fine. i should really suggest the idea to MIX to give us our pay within two halves of a month so in that way we wouldn't be starving heading towards the end of the month. it feels damn funny to be poor and rich(well not that rich) every alternate times of the month.

the new lyric widget is seriously lovely shit.

and farhan you need to find more ways for inspiration then the beach with your parents and shila, watching planes go by. or collecting seashells. or scaring a whole herd/tribe/pack (whatever you call it) of marine cockroaches.

i sound like an 11 year old kid.

well the dork i am, maybe i still am. hoho

2007-04-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

it's 3D computer animation and everyone is happily tapping away on their laptops and not paying attention to belen. haha. sorry belen. Softimage is a very nice software to fiddle with. i'll pay attention the next time.

i have a new hobby in school now and it's very nice. i wonder why i've never thought of it the last time. maybe i was too lazy.

Me and Lin have been watching this so-called Arts Central original series called "Do Not Disturb" for a few weeks now and apparently both of us are starting to get pissed off. It started out strong i suppose, especially with the stripper and the freak. this week was lim yu beng and some malay lady who started the show wearing pretty modest clothing like her lingerie. sense the sarcasm people. apparently the woman never got laid so she wants the school jock, who is lim yu beng. to screw her with his elongated "friend".

it was terrible not to be able to see different shots in the whole damn hour. the last i could recall was 5 wide shots from different spots. you could never see their reactions, let alone hear clearly what they're trying to say. The director and the producer, which ironically is lim yu beng's wife, must have had too much money in their hands.

apparently mediacorp buys out their competition even before they start having a solid foundation. bloody hell.

oh well. back to 3D.

and bjork's new songs are out! lin you better pass me the timbaland one. hahaha. it's like hearing 'wait a minute' and 'oceania' at the same time.

2007-04-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

gesundheit!

i haven't updated this space for so long but somehow blogging has not been something i've been doing at a regular basis lately. but i should because it improves my english. so i shall blog.

it's been a week at school and the projects to come in this semester seem very intimidating to say the least.

oh well. i feel sleepy so i shall blog again later.

2007-04-15T03:41:00.000-07:00

if you didn't get too angry just because we both made a little mistake on locations and only wasted about 10 minutes.

you could have saved your whole one and a half hours.

think about it.

is it really good to always be angry at such little and small mistakes all the time?

you need to control yourself and your temper.

because if i were like you i'd probably be walking home all the way just like you.

please think about it.

to yourself, without pushing the blame on me and my past wrongdoings.

and yes this post is straight at you.

2007-04-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

a friend of a friend of mine who is also my friend asked him this question:

"when you die, who and where would you find the person that would be able to tell the story of how you lived your life?"

he answered abruptly.

"i would find farhan."

the friend said:

"why him?"

and my friend said:

"because he literally saw me grew up and stuck by me no matter what. and he knows more to me than most people do."

my friend, which i don't want to disclose who in case this is personal to him, told me about it and i've never felt so honoured in my life. i felt pretty guilty for while because we've haven't seen each other in ages. but he mentioned a good point. no matter how far apart we have become, you know that the person is still there no matter what. if you were to call, that person would definitely pick up. friends can be a million miles apart, but they're still friends. some friends come, some friends go. some friends would just like to lay back and have some good food or drinks and talk about the good ol' times.

i respect you as a proper adult, and i thank you for respecting me the same way.

here's to 5 years of friendship buddy :)

2007-04-13T00:29:00.000-07:00

TEST TEST? hello hello hello.

2007-04-12T09:25:00.001-07:00

2007-03-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

ahh. back home from work quite a while ago and i must say that today was really fun with aliff and shawn because we got to go off early and aliff couldn't stop threatening everyone with a knife in his hand ala the soup spoon murder at raffles city which was apparently sparked by the stupidest reasons. one of which was because of filthy, unwashed plates.

my parents were back from kl yesterday and i'm quite happy with what they brought me, and lin of course but i'm not sure if she's going to like it. too bad my request for shoes went horribly wrong when i opened the adidas(fake) box. i've never seen a worst shoe disaster in my life, well. except for converse double tongues.

they also brought home a damn new family portrait! haha. i think my brother's friendster account has it so go find it yourself. yes he has a friendster account. finally.

oh yes, i got my results today too. not too bad. way better than last semester. i know that school is going be something i'm going to be looking forward to knowing that you'll be in the same course as me!

it's been a looooong 4 days. she's coming back and i really can't wait :)

2007-03-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

hello there everyone, work's been alright lately.

the 4 important people in my life are out of the country at the moment, out of the 4 of course, three of them makes my parents and sheila, currently away in KL for a little getaway and one, the girlfriend, who had left for brunei/shenzhen/hongkong yesterday where she'll be flying four times in the span of five days, way more than i have (only once) in my 19 year long life. haha. hope she's having a lot of fun because it's dead boring right here in this little dot.

i cut my hair again today. hai, all for the sake of being in the 'food and beverage' industry.

good night.

2007-03-03T03:58:00.000-08:00

the little devil is in hospital. but she's alright don't worry :) she's just having a pretty bad bout of flu. here's proof to show that she's not suffering from some chronic disease

haha. even got the cheek to give a cheeky little smile. i've never seen scrubs cuter or smaller then what she's wearing. HAHA

the other loved one had her mum chop her hair today but from the looks of what she says, it looks gorgeous and i can't wait to see it :) i'm bored and i'm feeling i-want-to-scare you and i'm getting sick of barney balloons circling sheila's ward cot. want to know how much the balloons cost? well let's say that both balloons can feed three friends for pizza hut's lunch express meals.

tomorrow's my second practical and also black pant shopping with the girlfriend. hope sheila gets discharged tomorrow.

manchester united vs liverpool!

2007-02-28T03:54:00.000-08:00

gah. had three hours of sleep just now and now i'm feeling pretty bummed that i can't go back to sleep, knowing that there's an FA cup match on TV later and it's the second leg of the match between the devils and reading.

so i was bored and i uploaded the few pictures i took with the camera not so long ago and used the HDR technique. this is not a first attempt but this is just one of the pictures which turned out the way that i believe it should be, using HDR.

finally the damn thing jadi. and i'm happy and i need a tripod to do these kind of things on a lot more stuff.

training at mix with lin just now was great despite us being late for half an hour or more. hahaha. someone apparently doesn't like looking at me gorging on slices of the most amazingly funny coloured burrito-like things which i have ever seen in this lifetime.

believe it they have a whole plate of mutton briyani (the taste of course) in one of the things they like to call wrapps. with an extra 'p'.

got two tests on thursday. aiya.

i'm a chinese war lord commanding a submarine fleet underwater with the risk of someone pressing...

the baegg leadd baaahhhtennn.

2007-02-23T08:40:00.000-08:00

she made it. i told you.

NEVER HURTS TO TRY.

haha.i'm so happy.

2007-02-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

blogger is being the bitch, a bigger one than it has always been because apparently, posts take about a day to be updated into the internet. sometimes i don't even know whether people are even blogging anymore because all of them seem deserted. not to mention this little space.

anyway. if all of you have read lin's blog, yes i do have a canon now and it's not brand new, i'm not a rich kid. it's second hand but it's working perfectly fine nonetheless. photography with the camera has been a very fulfilling experience. here's some evidence:

more good news. we have a job! me and lin applied at mix today and we both got in. training would be on tuesday and wednesday. i'm not made to be a model after all but that agency called three times but i didn't pick up. reasons being i was lazy, and plus they won't be very happy if they see what really lies beneath the shirt.

i love electronica. here's bjork's hyperballad:

it's not only a visual spectacle. the efforts taken to sample and mix this type of music is simply heart-wrenching but yet, fascinating.

it's time we shall call it a day.

good luck my love :)

2007-02-16T22:39:00.000-08:00

i'm pretty much bored and now i'm watching thom yorke's interview about his 'the eraser' album and i must say he speaks really well.

there's something fundementally flawed about the way we're proceeding.

2007-02-14T23:30:00.000-08:00

i found a hindustani valentine's day song in my computer yesterday. yes it's valentine's day and happy day to everyone out there who's being a lovebird and lugging a billion roses or life-size tweety birds who'd need an extra ticket to accomodate it in the movie theatre. shower your girlfriend with love today and treat her like shit the next? then what's the point. i bet the mat i saw who probably bought a rose from 7-11 for his equally minah girlfriend, is grinding with some random chick while his minah girlfriend is happily smitten with love at home because his boyfriend finally showed that he cared.

me and my girlfriend? well she spent it well with her best friends and i went out with my mom. boy, do we love each other.

actually we do.

my brother is out 'enjoying' with his girlfriend at momo, apparently leaving traces of the club's website on the history tab.

i want a job. gramophone seems like a good idea.

listen to the sunshine underground, the klaxons and peter, bjorn and john, especially the 70s-esque song called 'young folks'. you won't regret it.

it's not mine. i just like it.

2007-02-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

yes. feast your eyes people. that is the ultimatum of all pictures. me with short hair. take a cold, hard stare to digest such a grotesque visual. especially the slight double chin.

that is what comes out from boredom, dumbass computer graphics, wracked minds, a camera and two good friends. it's the camera on a slow shutter speed.

"Unless you're willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won't happen."

Phillip Adams

and that quote, is for you:

my straight-MUZZZtache lady!

"go for it. no matter what, i'll always be right behind you. all the way. all the way :)"

2007-02-07T06:52:00.000-08:00

my whole body is being a bitch, especially my nose which is running like a tap and my lips, which has 3 damn ulcers in them. oh well, tahan.

it doesn't help that the damn computer graphics lab is fucking cold.

cg is pretty much fucked up because we don't really give a hoot about it other than those who are really good at it, this backs up my reasons to take audio next year, IF, the damn new syllabus would still allow us to pick subjects. gah.

it's the last stretch of school and it's time to find a job.

my girlfriend is susceptible to pressing lift alarm bells and having whiplash when she hears the ring of the alarm. HAHAHAHA. priceless moment. so in return for all the various vulnerable moments she had, she spent a 50 dollar taka voucher on slippers and a wristlet. very rewarding i say. i'd like to have vulnerable moments and get vouchers in return.

david belle and cyril raffaelli (or ravioli) are now serious contenders for adilin's affection and i have a feeling that i am fighting a losing battle. even a blue haired mat had a cameo along the way.

here's a picture we did of each other:

she is supposed to be wearing her orange lacoste polo, brown skirt, green contacts and nicely straightened hair while i, have wet hair with an old fuzzy superman shirt with food and bloodstains from godknowswhere and a face that looks like i haven't shaved in a week. not o mention chocolate brown.

haha. nevertheless, the picture looks gorgeous and we're both official characters of SOUTH PARK. adilin will be dating kenny's ghost and i will be killing cartman in the next season. stay tuned.

yeah right.

2007-01-30T08:10:00.000-08:00

and that folks, marks the end of the demonstration show and also the end of studio production.

after running into a problem because a 'genius' (HAHA) stuck double-sided tape on the lens of cam 1,

and then running out of tape while recording the damn LAST minute of the whole show, and then doing the whole thing over again which luckily, was better than the last one.

we also had to see the dancer, Angel Gomez, grimace in pain while dancing because he had to dance on our studio floor which is not very suited to tapping. the worst thing is he had to dance 6 times!

oh well, everything is good and well now and we're all happy and picture-takey.

all that's left now is paperwork, more tests and that dumb computer graphics trailer.

"the uhhh moments", "the owdio thing", "the baeysick thing" and the "daolley thing" will be sadly missed. douglas is a very hilarious teacher. and he's korean.

2007-01-28T11:27:00.000-08:00

my writes, the band, has loads of potential to make it as big as electrico, provided they stay with the current members long enough :)

can't believe an apek can dance till lin showed me the video on my camera. amazing shit, he was skanking i tell you. skanking as if gerhana skacinta was playing or something. darn.

lin made brownies on friday and her brothers were gorging on it sampai habis. lucky i got a piece on saturday if not i would be deprived of the domestic goddess's heaven on earth. hahaha

on thursday, mr funnyman jueyi said the best thing i heard all week.

"wah with this chair you don't need a wife already man"

he was on a massage chair you see.

friday was very good for me, the fact that i finally got to see you for godknowshowlong. hee =)

oh oh, and some people should just learn to shut up and eat humble pie. and be more professional. sheesh.

you totally spoilt the whole thing. but i'll pass because you're a nice person when you're not being snobbish.

2007-01-26T03:52:00.000-08:00

i've been helping out fuad and his cousin's satay venture at a night market in punggol for two days and in fact today was the last day. i think my blood is way too thick because i have 5-6 cuts on my hand, it doesn't hurt and i am not bleeding. something's not right here people.

on the other hand, i have 70 bucks from the two days. it's all good. and that makes enough money for the surprise on our one year anniversary together =)

was coming back from the place just now and i had a rare opportunity to ride on a lorry's bed. i'm usually used to the serene sound of the air conditioning but this, although it makes it seem as if i am a bangladeshi worker, i know someone says i look like one, the rush it gives you is pretty much..quite high. The 90 kilometre wind that blows on your face, the fact that you're going quite fast without any brace or support and also the danger of the foldable chairs on the bed suddenly flying in the almost-gale wind and striking our heads clean off our bodies.

i miss my girlfriend =(

and danial's birthday is on saturday. hell yeah. you jaga man you.

photography final project presentation today and la virginite perdue. is complete.

i miss you =(

i only have three hours of sleep, later got studio meeting again. first shot at director on tuesday was shaky but i got the hang of it towards the end. it was so funny when the all the crew in the studio and control room were chanting the rhythm in unison. hope next tuesday's show would be banging. flamenco is quite, what do you call it, footywork.

and for the last time,

i miss you. heh

good night.

2007-01-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

sometimes the world and people remind you that you don't mean much to them although the world and people sometimes might mean everything to you.

i don't think i'm well-liked.

goodbye.

2007-01-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

you know when you're going crazy when you start signing on this damn thing with your student account number and password.

anyway. everything has been pretty blah lately.

the shoot for photography went extremely well for both days, the pictures are crazy. haha. they're all being pieced up now into a film. the best thing is, other groups haven't even started. haha.

we played with a little rubber ball i just realized how fun it is now as it still was then. HAHA. you know those little 20 cent or 50 cent balls you buy from the capsule machines at mama shops? i am still duly impressed by how silent these balls are when they bounce. and how unpredictable they bounce off. counting the record, all of us fools almost broke a monitor, a studio glass panel and a betacam with the damn ball but hell we sure had a blast.

you guys know those colleen double sided colour pencils? the ones in primary school with a triangular face logo? you know the pink and blue colour pencil? i always think of them when i see dumb couple wearing pink and blue when they go out. they resemble walking toilet insignias.

i was walking back home looking at the sky just now and i realized how i used to look up on the sky to count the stars, although they're very faint, in the car when i was young and (hot) as someone would say it (HEH), i just only found out that the orion's belt constellation is directly above my block. makes it feel so greek mythology-ish.

yeah right.

2007-01-07T09:16:00.000-08:00

can someone please tell me how to adjust the posting time and date of blogger permanently? i can't seem to be able to do it.

2007-01-07T08:56:00.000-08:00

i know someone will find this extremely amazing because i know i do. heh.

ahh here i am letting the time pass by blogging before retiring for school tomorrow. which i am looking forward to actually because it's the first monday of school! i know the blues and all but you got to take it easy once in a while.

i don't know why but my right wrist is bugging me. it won't be long before i give up on this post.

i haven't been very good with numbers today and i am so sorry. i do suck at maths and i believe the lack of its usage is making it worse.

anyway today was pretty uneventful except for the fact that i had to go to bukit gombak to complete the props for the upcoming studio production show which is in three weeks' time and i am feeling the jitters a little bit. it's going to be quite hectic in the weeks to come but after that it'll be smooth sailing to year 2. wow. so bloody fast.

i need 280 dollars for an ipod.

mcdonalds has wedges now and it's really good :) but the freaking box is bloody small.

i missed a green streak in the sky today. shit. i love it when phenomenons happen. on saturday i swear the sunset was extremely yellow that it made everyone look like they're having a tan. or my eyes were seeing through a sepia filter.

haha. you look cute when you're like pissed off sometimes but i don't really dare to mention it to you.

and to the guys, (danial, ahmad, ilyasaa, fuad, hossein, jasmi, fadzil, nabil) we need to get together soon man. sembahyang or anything. hard for a boy to say this but, i do miss you guys. haha. fuad and your straw smoke.

i've been having a funny idea of having a sleepover at my house. you guys can come one day. haha.

someone's getting her shirtt tomorroww nyehh nyehh. and i'm getting a red shirt.

bye. goodnight.

2007-01-03T07:28:00.000-08:00

haha. back to school and look who just started school today :)

hahahaha. that's one cute little bugger going to school.

blood diamond is a MUST watch. everyone should pay $7 or $9.50 to sit in the theatre for 2 hours and 15 minutes to see the suffering the children have to go through. they are forced as child soldiers at such a young age, handling AK-47s like adult rebels and doing vices as if nothing in the world mattered to them.

imagine your son doing that, i'm sure not all of us would go the lengths like how solomon vendi did for his son.

all of this because of a damn big pink diamond.

2006-12-31T11:45:00.000-08:00

hmmm. i was supposed to post this yesterday but my brother used the computer without my permission.

HAHAHA. i can't believe a boxer can break his shin into half, fall, and still wave to the damn referee.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zs-ZGdR63pI

HAHAHAHAHHA. as quoted by my brother whose talking on the phone with his friend.

"eh sial lah, kaki dia patah lembek siol, yang ultimate fighting challenge. adik aku ah"

this is gorgeous. all thanks to my dear girlfriend who made my heart jump looking at the leg, but break into fits of laughter after looking at the guy's reaction.

heh. today was fun. two movies at a shot with love. and we didn't even have to pay for one.

CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER is one of the better chinese movies i have ever seen. it's a fatal twist of incest, poisoning, filial piety, chinese medicine, thai-like dressed women, silicone-like boobs, and chinese warfare. the scene which will eject you from your seat is the Emperor beating his son with his gold belt to a pulp. literally. pulp. the boy was flattened and dead and chow yun FAT was laughing like he just had sex with 5 gong lis. Jay Chou is not particularly good in this movie but he had a part to play and he did quite a satisfactory job i guess.

Other than that very informal review, the sets are amazing. the myriad of colours in the palace of the forbidden city sure looked real. the costumes were equally stunning. the storyline is good and straightfoward. you won't fall asleep watching this.

oh yeah, just that very dumb and extremely irritating voice in the background that reminds you that an hour has passed, or someone's coming. we never really got to see that guy.

as usual we went to the toilet after the movie and we decided to laze around.

*pop*

we ended up watching another movie. deathnote 2. it wasn't really that bad just that you have to watch the first one.

hahaha. it sure felt good. just that lin was nervous that we'll be embarassed by people who woulc claim that it's their seat. we did get caught, but she was the one who reacted properly by telling me "where our 'tickets'? check again". hahaha.

never knew a weekend movie ticket could go a long way. the best time to plan these kind of schemes is the year 2007. good movies come by the bucketload.

selamat hari raya haji to all. have fun with alll the mutton.

oh and a very happy new year. 2007! whoo. it's going to be 11 months soon =)

2006-12-28T11:10:00.000-08:00

AND I NEED WIRELESS.FAST. INSTANTLY. IMMEDIATELY. so that i can use my laptop and not bear the wait for the computer any longer. sheesh.

2006-12-28T10:04:00.000-08:00

Here I am, there you are
On a wire connecting our hearts
There's a string
It is tied to a kite
There's a storm in the sky,
Now the clouds become electric.
There you are, here I am.

Hello guys. it's been almost a week. Sorry about that but it has been pretty busy, or time wasting? either way some work was done in between so yeah.

Internet has been slow for the past few days because of the quake that struck Taiwan. I never knew that this very Internet, on this very site, is currently running its data UNDERWATER. like DEEP SEA kind of underwater. That's hell fascinating. How the hell are they going to repair the damn cables underwater? what if another quake happens and those guys who are doing the repairs fall into the crevasse that the quake might cause? brrrr. freaky.

the first half of the week was pretty uneventful, especially christmas. me and my parents went to sungei road to find tennis balls to make pumpkin bombs for my computer graphics. hell that place has stayed the same since the last time i went there. that was the period when whoopi goldberg still had eyebrows. and that place still sells porn and they attract old chinese men like bees to honey. i saw them flocking towards it the minute that pirate uncovered his bag.

watched night at the museum on tuesday with lin and i must say it is pretty good for a holiday movie. i heard it grossed quite a lot in its opening week at the US. and i found my second favourite pizza at pizza hut. the BBQ supreme. once you try it, you wouldn't want to go back to hawaiian. trust me it tastes like heaven. the pizza even looks like a christmas one.

the shoot for computer graphics today was a great success despite the weather and the constant itching of jueyi's back because of the bulletproof vest. it was also the first time i wore three quarter pants to school. i know someone wouldn't want to imagine me in three quarter pants along with my hairy legs. hai. shouldn't have bought that dv tape if i knew jueyi was going to.argh.

i was watching quite a lot of documentaries the past few days and there was one on the spear of jesus. they said that the spear in a museum located in vienna is claimed to be the one used to kill jesus christ during the crucifixication(sp?) the blood that was smeared on the spear apparently made it invincible and the spear was passed on generations by generations, from the fall of the roman empire to the conquest of napoleon and the last dictator who owned it was none other than hitler. it was then claimed by the US troops and restored to the museum. the spear was reconstructed by all the different generations into one spear with a crucifix nail in the middle. the analysis shows that the spear was not the one that killed jesus christ, but the nail, after a very close study, is a crucifixing nail used in the era very very very very near to the time of jesus christ. intriguing. and hell, relics are damn fascinating too. you should watch the red violin.

not saying that i believe in jesus christ, but he is after all, one of the prophets. Nabi Isa.

Selamat Hari Raya Haji everyone. Oh and a Happy New Year to you too.

good night.

2006-12-23T21:14:00.000-08:00

oh well, a crew was filming at my car park just about a while ago and they were packing up. I went down for a while to ask around and they were pretty friendly. I asked whether they had any vacancies for small-time on-location jobs and they gave me a form to fill in and they'll get back to me as soon as they pass it to their producers.

i hope i can get it. wish me luck.

2006-12-23T09:37:00.000-08:00

Earth to Bella
This is a quiet emergency
Earth to Bella
There's so much more to get then wronged

Earth to Bella
You're treading water successfully
But are you really?Don't you want to see the deep?
It's not so hard.
Just forgive yourself and feel the water open in

Ahh. the song that inspired me for photography assignment 3 in less than a snap right when i woke up about 30 minutes ago. I shall work on it and yes, it seems good. That's one story down and 2 more to go. homework sucks i know.

Anyway, shall be going to Suntec later with the loved one to collect the book that has personified itself as her greatest childhood fear, Pennywise the clown as "IT" from Stephen King. Hope the book helps in overcoming the fear which incited a spark in her to throw earphones and push my laptop away when i asked her to watch a dubbed clip of the movie on YouTube, which is actually quite funny, to me though. HAHA. i want a balloon.

was watching Bring Back the A Team not so long ago and it turns out that Mr. T aka B.A Barnacus still talks the same way despite being old and bling bling-less. I pity the fool.

heh. for the past week i've been a guest for two very nice christmas dinners with lin. one being a hell of a feast at Seoul Garden (it turns out that i like the place, without counting this one, i've only ate there ONCE. i'm pathetic i know) and a humble meal at Swensen's, which proved to be very fruitful in the end because we got free drinks from lin's friend? who she wasn't even close to the last time, if i'm not wrong. indeed, being popular does help in getting you a drink when they only see you sipping on water. haha. i'm not very popular, trust me.

americans are watching us. take care people.

2006-12-22T04:49:00.000-08:00

I'M FUCKING BORED and i'm going to revive this thing again after two damn months. Hari Raya's over people, and so is the money.

speaking of which i need a job to get along with.

Hold on while i make a new skin for this thing okay?

they have a new font now for the 'create post' part. how cool

2006-10-24T00:29:00.000-07:00

hello everyone.

my mom got admitted for observation at tan tock seng hospital on sunday because she had bouts of extreme stomach pain or something similar to that and she was suspected of having kidney stones? i can't believe our bodies can produce something so.. mineral in an organ such as the kidney.

so i thought she might be okay today and able to be discharged since it's malam raya and all.

but alas, she has to stay back for what might be another day? which means she MIGHT and can only be discharged on hari raya itself. and we (me, my brother, my dad and sheila) may have to come to tan tock seng decked in our baju kurungs in all of its glory.

although it's something extremely minor but i don't want to make it a storm in a teacup, but if we count the hari raya this year, i haven't had a good raya for 3 years. oh well.

i woke up late for school yesterday because i only returned home at 330. and i almost didn't get to meet you.

thank god i did. because you made me feel soooo relieved. and sweaty but that's out of the point.

thank you =) thank you for accompanying me through the night although you had to retire pretty early. but nonetheless, you stood by me, and that's all that matters =)

my mom wants to see you pretty eagerly. haha. if she's discharged tomorrow, you can come in your baju kebaya. and surprise the shit out of me.

so on behalf of the whole family and the ever-so-cute-wan-too-tree-pour-pai-sic-eben-ate-nen-ten! sheila,

i'd love to wish everyone a very selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin.

2006-10-22T01:20:00.000-07:00

so i'm blogging. well, hello everyone. it's been a week.

i'm waiting for lin to be done cleaning the house with her mum, i think they're still at her room at this point of typing? i think.

and i've been squashing ants crawling on the desk using my air-conditioning remote control. thinking i'm some juggernaut or something. ant count: 8. *crawlcrawl* "YOU DIE!" *SQUASH*.

so SCHOOL has reopened. not really so hyped up but it was nice to see all the new old classmates as the classes had a shuffle. and mondays i start at 11, that means i can accompany lin to nyp first, and then go to school and still have enough time to have a decent breakfast. haha.

first day wasn't too bad. this time, all lectures takes place in the preview theatre. that means really good and comfy seats. that also means, i fall asleep much easier than before, now that intro to film lecture is simply, watching a classic movie, appreciate it and do some sort of presentation. sounds like literature. and i don't think i'm too good at it. and i fell asleep for about 1 quarter of the movie. sheesh. they even have cup holders in there. i think.

tuesday is studio production. i like it. it's not too bad. we have a korean lecturer(dough-less) whose humour is similar to emilio, my lecturer last semester. apparently they like to bitch behind each other's backs. amazing.

wednesdays are a bore.

thursdays aren't too bad either. mister ryan is really nice but extremely particular about punctuality. he was literally counting the seconds i came into class. he left hollywood for np. and he came to singapore by boat.

fridays. we might have a time slot change. if we do, that means i start at 8 but end at 1. currently i start at 11 and finish at 5. we'll see.

lin's classmates suck because they insist on having wednesdays off. and make the last two days of the week into a hectic scramble. bitches.

which means i wouldn't be able to see her on thursday, which is like the bestestest day according to the timetable last week. her timetable i mean.

OH! we watched world trade center on thursday. it was a damn good movie in terms of graphical reality and sound effects. and also the heroics of the two port authority police officers, mcloughlin and jimeno. i'm not very sure if i can stay 3-5 days buried under megatons of rubble and debris, not to mention in great pain, and still stay alive until i get pulled out. amazing.

in the movie, jimeno said (and yes this is true) that he had a dream of jesus offering him a bottle of water.

hmmmm.

i hope she's done! haha. i'm getting bored and the computer sounds like a boxer brumble already.

man if it really was a boxer engine brumble. that would be damn cool.

ohh i have a new school bag! haha. i'm sick of slings. they make the collars of my shirt stretch and expand.

2006-10-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

aiya. blame my eyes for being gatal. just when i switched off the computer like 30-40 minutes ago to go to sleep. my eyes just decided to stay awake, and when i mean stay awake, it's terbeliak awake.

so here i am back again, waiting for sahur which is due in like.. 10 minutes' time. and i am now reeling in guilt because i was listening to siti nurhaliza's nazam lebaran. i should kill myself right now but i like the symphony of the men's voices accompanying her singing. i really don't know why but i feel so..driven to imitate the way the voice sounds like. i must admit, i'm guilty of this and i'm not afraid.

*berdendang, marii berdendang, berdendang di seluruh alam. bergema, suara bergema. nazam lebarannn*

i'm too melayu for my own good sometimes, but hey, we all are aren't we? it's okay once in a while. once in a while AJER.

so yesterday was a very short but fulfilling day.

i was supposed to get a shirt that says "i have no idea what you are talking about" but i've have to agree to lin's opinion that 'quote shirts are getting cliche' so i got myself a green shirt that says. well. you'll see for yourself when i wear it.

before getting the shirt at bugis market we went to watsons to get contact solution and drops for that girl. i'm still not contemplating on getting contacts any sooner because they seem so leceh. and infectious. sorry but i'll stick to just slapping on my specs early in the morning before school. heh.

after all the bugis stuff we went to a flea market at gas haus. haha. it was entirely for girls and the stuff there for them isn't too bad at all. cheap at that too. i personally like the belt and the shoes that we bought. haha.

for my whole life i have never felt so disturbed in a bus ride until yesterday. i was getting bad intention vibes from a guy who was suffering from down's syndrome. no offence but.. i don't know. you just didn't look like you were a nice guy. i'm sorry. he was just.. i would say, trying to make a move that's not very good on someone who was sleeping beside me and that person is none other than her, lin.

oh! time for sahur now. i smell nasi goreng. yum.

see you everyone.

2006-10-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

FUAD!. remember how we used to scare each other working in furama hotel back then? where i can hear you shout a floor away and you see me 'shake' when i get shocked.

well, SOMEONE, has just took away the coveted title that you have, of seeing my shock spasms. DAMN.

i'll get back one day. i will. tengok je. haha.

2006-10-13T03:28:00.000-07:00

ahh. so raya's around the corner. here's old raya pictures. well. not too old.

not this year is not tuala red. it's ketupat green. the colours i have for baju kurung. all hail the zulkiflis.

and raya-ing with the usual FOOLS. or BONGS. or just plain us.

now i'm pissed because pictures of the guys won't fucking load.

now i'm even more fucking pissed because i can't load a picture of my most favourite person in the world and how much i can't wait to raya with her =)))

anyway work was good today. had 7 sales but i gave lin BACEYN (DAMN I'M ASKING FOR IT MAN. somebody kill me.) one so that she'll have 6 and we both get 21 dollars! haha. before we started the second half of work, it was someone's birthday so we had sup tulang and a LOT of food which was good and nice and i would have taken more if there wasn't nnyone in the room except for me and lin because she knows how i'm like when i'm eating good food. haha. lots of pictures too. will be up soon i guess.

haha. before work i met lin to go to nyp to buy books.

french is cool. but they have that damned sebastien loeb in it. bloody citroen drivers.

i love your tunic la. can you wear it everyday? haha. random.

see you everyone.

2006-10-10T05:08:00.000-07:00

BAHH. just when i was about to go to sleep and switch off the computer. my maid came in with a list of indonesian songs asking me to download it for her.

oh well.

first day of work today! it wasn't so bad. the people there are really nice. not to mention i have my most favourite person in the world working with me =))))). heh. i think i'm going to like it there. no i'm not terrorizing phone lines at all.

haha.

i came across this picture of sheila, shasha and my parents. i couldn't help but think about this thought non-stop:

what if my parents never had me and my brother in my first place? is this how my family will look like? i can only wonder.

2006-10-08T03:52:00.000-07:00

HOHOHO. my girlfriend is taking french next year instead of stupid fucking maths. hahaha. appeals do work after all. thank you god. you da man! you too dr. tie. or something.

haha. i'm happy and she's ecstatic sampai tak boleh tidur.

french. wow. i also want to take. haha. let's all join NYP.

2006-10-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

the haze is amazing. visibility is limited to about 800 metres approximately because i'm looking out my window right now and i can barely see the singapore post centre. stay healthy everyone

i'm feeling a little pissed because the little trip to the bazaar with my mum was getting on my nerves along the way because my mum kept stopping randomly and i can't stand people who like to stop and stop and stop without moving to the side to give way to the people behind. apparently my mother was out to test my patience. and the people behind.

and i'm feeling a little blah because school is in over a week's time.

the vacation just feels a little.. tsk. wasted. oh well. next vacation is in mid-december[ i think? i'm following lin's(NYP) calendar because NP sucks and they don't have one]. but it won't be the same because projects would be piling up. i hope school's better than last semester because it's a new class but with people i already know. T1B2.

oh well. work on monday! that's something to look forward to.

have a good weekend everyone. and stop smoking to those who are because we're polluted enough already.

my live messenger's suffering from hypertension. it gets into a fit when people start pm-ing me.

2006-10-06T02:19:00.000-07:00

so i've been downloading quite of a load of the cranberries lately and it turns out that the video for the song "this is the day" is the video that has captured my fascination in colours and graphics on MTV when i was still in the early days and wooden benches of the lower secondary school days.

watch it!

so i went for the job interview as a Muhammadiyah telemarketeer and i got it. so i'll be working untuk kebajikan. haha. but hey it's for the better for all of us too and i owe someone one for the job offer =). but the downside is that i can only start on monday and so i shall waste a good opportunity of earning money on the next three consective days, with sunday being the big 'deal' day where you get what you work for in cash on the spot.

so monday shall be the day. i shall terrorise the phone lines of every muslim household in singapore. well. not exactly terrorise but i'll just be asking for a simple donation.

i might just call you people out there reading this and don't be surprised if i'm introducing myself and asking for your parents on the phone.

2006-10-04T03:39:00.000-07:00

ahh so half the script is done. i shall revise it later. heh

and i should stop pretending that i'm all happy and wee-wee because i'm not. as a matter of fact, i just don't feel as if my heart is there anymore. i can't feel it beating.

i feel so empty. seriously. but i can't do anything about it because if i do, it's going to make me feel more emptier. hai.

2006-10-04T01:12:00.000-07:00

haha. i'm going to stay all night today to write a script for the pck contest. HAHA. somebody kill me.

2006-10-03T14:03:00.000-07:00

"and so in your own little mentality you assume that by making small talk and miss yous will just fix everything. you're dead wrong."

it's not because i want to act as if everything's fine and dandy and we're talking like friends all of a sudden happily chatting away.

i know what i've done and it hurts you to even to think about it in the first place.

but it's not as if i deliberately did it to you to spite you.

not at all. not a single bit.

i had my wrongdoings, and i know you're capable of naming all of them, what the hell, categorising them in the different magnitudes even. i know for the person you are.

"i may forget farhan, but i never forgive. never"

indeed change is a simple word to say yet hard to acheive. but it's never impossible for anyone.

now that's just plain bollocks. because, accepting is one thing. BUT, sitting and swallowing and letting him step all over your head and then conveniently shitting on it while he's at it, is a whole different matter altogether

shitting on one's head is something i don't want to do either. but to you, perhaps it seemed that way. but yes, the person to blame is me. for not showing you enough. not showing you enough to prove to you that you are indeed. the 'one'.

the reason why i make small talk. partly the reason is because i want to reconcile with you. i don't want you to bear the grudge against me forever. but yes, to what i mentioned above, you forget. but never forgive.

but from here, i guess i don't even have the chance to try anymore. i don't even have the chance to click on you on msn, don't even mention about calling or texting.

if this post is just going to instil more hate into you. it seems that whatever i do just makes you hate me even more with all your heart. so i guess i'll stop here. until i'm being given the green light by you to talk. which i don't think is going to be happening any sooner.

-

on a side note, today's trip to CMPB with danial at freaking 830 in the morning was nothing but a terrible waste because his medical check-up isn't due until the 13th. feeling all gutted and wet, because it rained, i just randomly decided that we should go to ikea.

it was pretty fruitful i must say.

my desk is looking more neater and organized with the stuff i bought from there.

oh. did i mention that i just brought a measly 10 dollars? hohoho. i'm advertising how cheap ikea actually is.

2006-10-03T00:02:00.000-07:00

you know the most irritating thing about ipod earphones are that the first side that always gets busted is the left one. and i just discovered that mine's just busted. sheesh.

2006-10-02T23:42:00.000-07:00

*SHITT!*. but that's an entirely different matter which only goes in my head.

anyway.

i was in the bus on the way to darul aman for terawih with ilyasaa when i saw those ads that hang from the handlebar things in the bus. i took one and it says;

www.sae.edu

Ba(honours) in film making. right here in singapore.

hmmm. maybe that could be a possibility.

2006-10-02T03:44:00.000-07:00

this feels like a roundabout at the autobahn in germany.

you don't have traffic lights. you stop, you crash. you go, you crash.

so basically. you don't really have an option.

she hates you. and frankly farhan, there's nothing you can do about it.

the good thing about the autobahn is, you have the rescue unit to save you.

me? someone help me fill the blank space over here

because neither keeping quiet nor talking will help.

help. yes help. is what i need. anyone? nah.

i think i'm going to have sahur now.

2006-10-02T02:27:00.000-07:00

ahmad seriously your comment i would say is a little insulting. but everyone is entitled to their own thoughts. therefore the name of this blog. "to each, their own."

for one thing, she's never been like that. she never will be. i know that girl.

for once, she is the best person i have ever met. if she can't kill you by laughing, she has other means.

she's not any 'other' girl, she's nur adilin binte mohamed ismail. and that my friend, is something more than just 'other'.

oh well, fuad if your sedara is serious about the job you're talking about. and if i get it even. then all i would have to do is edit 5 pictures at home and 40 dollars will come cashing in. i hope.

2006-10-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

so i decided to make a cheesecake to pass the time today. the crust turned out better than the last time and the cheesecake slid off the baking tin perfectly.

the thing is. the only person that's going to be eating the cheesecake is me. because the rest of the family doesn't really like cheese.

anyway. it's toblerone cheesecake. or chocolate cheesecake. whichever works.

strawberry. hai.

i miss you.

off to terawih at darul aman with them.

Oh! and happy birthday you ganja boy.

2006-09-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

i dont even KNOW what your definition of LOVE towards me even.
love means you can fondle your long time crush infront of me.
love means you can hide things from me.
love means you lie and you cheat and you break promises
that is YOUR love.
not mine.
not anyone's.

you've failed miserably farhan. and indeed you have no one but yourself to blame because the one you love, hates you to the core. and it's all because of you.

call me plain dumb, but love is one thing that i've come to feel, but somehow not able to return back the love of the same caliber.

maybe she will never forgive me. never.

but until the day that she might will be able to, i will never be able to repay back the amount of love she gave to me. and i threw it all away. how did i ever manage to become such a bastard? how? answers i will have to search within myself for a long, long time.

and till then, maybe she'll find someone new. someone who's more capable of love than me.

"you made lies because you wanted to make it all better, but you made it all worse. what have you done?"

well i don't want to hide it anymore.

(this may just anger you much more. but it's better that you know. i guess)

the mass comm girl asking number but i rejected issue? it wasn't even true. it was a lie i made to show you that i'm faithful to you. that i don't want anyone else. i wanted you. but that was a move i wished i never made. because it just hurt you more in the end. i do all these stupid things and lies. hell i don't know what i'm doing. but i was so scared of losing you that's why i did all these things. now i've lost you forever, because of doing these stupid things.

indeed i've broken my fair share of promises. and i've never made it up.

and that fondling your long time crush thing? blame me for being extra rough that day. and for not being aware of what i was initially doing, but it never seemed the same way in your eyes as it did in mine. it never will be.

maybe it's me but i hide things although they virtually have nothing wrong, and i seriously don't know why sometimes. i get too caught up in being happy with you that sometimes i tend to not tell, or rather, keep things that just might spoil the mood when i'm with you. keeping close to the 'i don't want to hurt you anymore' promise, it's like treading on thin ice. i was being too careful.

eventually you found out through a simple picture, and you blew your top off. forever.

me leaving you alone for the past few days. frankly, i didn't know what to say to you. or even how to start. i appear offline all the time, hoping you'd come online but when you do. i don't even have the guts to put myself back online. everyday i fear. i fear everything that you're able to say to me. even though i left you alone, you still haunt me everytime. i think of you but i get in a fix.
even before i sleep, when i look up, i see your eyes in your picture. i don't know what they say of me now. i guess they see me with two horns jutting out of my head.

i've seriously been a fucking bad boyfriend. i never realised that i would be one because i promised myself that i'm not going to be like my brother.

when you hurt, you never see what you're actually doing.

you have been in the game of love for quite a while. more than a year combined.

me? in actual fact, only 7 months. and i've inflicted so much pain that she's never going to forgive or stop hating me.

pain that i didn't want to cause. but i did in the end.

i am the worst person when it comes to love right now. at least she knows that i am.

i guess i've confessed enough. it's about time.

this is not a post of self-pity. this is a post where i tell everyone who i've become;

if you want to join the wagon with her in hating me with all your anger, i can't stop you from doing so. i guess i'll just have to bear.

thank you for your time.

2006-09-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

hello. i'm up because i couldn't sleep. those babies make a hell of a racket in the house.

so i decided to tune in to mtv and vh1 is playing songs from the 80s(their videos as well.)

80s. ahh, it's the likes of spandau ballet and meatloaf with their catchy but excessive keyboards in the music.

i still remember the first time i tuned in to english radio, i was 4 back then so that makes the year to be..1992? yeah. i vividly remember the same sounds and i couldn't forget it because i was awed by the radio until i had to stare at the 'play' button for no apparent reason.

i feel asleep after 5 minutes though.

oh they're playing that song jonathan sang in the spectaculars.

"maaaighttt as wellllu fay-ce it youa'reee adddickted to loo-huveee"

2006-09-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

bah. so much for 'changing the picture'.

i outdo myself in the wee hours of the morning sometimes.

dah. i cannot eat and cannot drink already. speaking of which. i have to go and pray subuh right now.

and i'm sleepy. finally.

bye.

2006-09-30T04:38:00.000-07:00

so i haven't switched off the computer just yet. i still have a little bit of blogging left in me.

sahur was very fruitful just now. instead of being greeted with swollen eyes and hoarse voices, everyone in the house was extra perky. and we ended up having a little talk from singapore airlines to air zamzam and kurma ajwa.

my dad is crazy for proposing buka with only quaker oats and kurma on monday.

and since i don't feel sleepy just yet. maybe i'll find a new picture for this space.

and i've discovered that carbonated water doesn't freeze after being left in the freezer for a day! it just makes the pepsi fizzier. and tell me who in this world does not like their pepsi to be fizzy. or fizzier. either way. (:

2006-09-30T03:52:00.000-07:00

well. amazingly i've decided to put this back on. it's been a while since i've been able to pen down my thoughts somewhere. and i'm not going to let them swell up my brain and take up unnecessary space. let's see.

on a side note, me and the guys decided to go watch 'stay alive' after sembahyang today. eh wait. yesterday. welllll, i would say it's not too bad at all, just that elizabeth bathory killing you in real life just looks CGI. other than the last part where she ejected out three nails from her heart, neck and forehead. and frankie muniz is a game maestro. other than that, he's incredibly short for a guy who drives a Cadillac Escalade around the neighbourhood. in real life i mean.

the movie? i would say 7/10. it's only 1 hour and 15 minutes.

and to spoil it, sophia bush died in the movie after smoking.

ahh yes. i am taking BTT on the 1st of November. that's bloody long isn't it? well i didn't want to rush it so much because although i can't wait to get behind the wheel, i'm not in a hurry to abandon public transport either. i had to take a new passport picture for the book and trust me, i had specs on this time.

see it? nah. you wouldn't want to.

-

i know you're on the course of erasing me from your life totally, maybe even bringing me down to the levels of, i don't know. indeed i've been an ass, a bitch, a bastard, a whore, a slut, a jabbawabbanabbaroo (no i don't intend to be rude there, it just came to my head). i don't bear anything against you although you did what you did recently. and i know what i did to you gradually along the way was undescribable. heartless? i admit. i was an ass. i'm sorry. but i never intended to be one. and i don't intend on being an ass forever. i know we can never be together again, if that's how it's going to be. i still want us to talk. even if it means a hi or a bye. anything. well, maybe i should take the iniative to do so. but i'm not sure when will i be greeted with a simple 'hello', instead of a 'FUCK OFFF'. well, i would say the former, maybe would make everything better for the both of us. at least, on talking terms. just that. i, no, we don't know when that will be.

i'm sorry.

( i don't intend to make this large font or small font, because frankly, i don't see the point)

well, one thing, i hope you're reading this, someday. one day. i don't know. please.

i just discovered, i can't do it on sms, phone or anywhere else. maybe this (blog) has always been my port of call. or forte. don't know lah.

oh yes, for the stuff you tore apart. i put it back together with scotch tape. glue would be messy.

and yes. i do not know how much the fine for that 1 month overdue book is, all i know is that i've returned it on the day itself and on the return receipt it says;

*PLEASE SEE LIBARIAN FOR FINE PAYMENT DETAILS*

uh oh. trouble. let's wait till school begins.

it's 3.49 a.m. and it's time for sahur and time for seeing groggy family members feeding their food into their noses rather than their mouth. oh sorry, that would only be my brother because he's home (finally) and dead beat.

i hope we'll talk again. one day. (nabmi)

see you everyone.